


ghosts in the oldstones

by orphan_account



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, F/M, Soft Daenerys Targaryen, Targaryen Babies, Targaryen Restoration, daenerys thoughts, dany's pov, not stark friendly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-19
Updated: 2019-12-12
Packaged: 2020-05-14 20:07:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19280254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: in the end she sees them all





	1. death

 

_high in the halls of the kings who are gone_

  
_jenny would dance with her ghosts_

  
_the ones she had lost and the ones she had found_

  
_and the ones who had loved her the most_

 

In the end she sees them all. 

She sees her mother's face, beautiful and gentle. 

She sees her father for all that he was, a monster, but her father all the same. 

She sees Rhaegar and Viserys, the clear difference between them. She remembers the years of abuse Viserys put her through, she remembers being a little girl, scared and hungry, begging for some scraps on the streets. How she watched Viserys go mad as the years went by. The beatings and the rape she endured at his hands. She sees it all. 

She remembers Drogo. The pain and the suffering. The painful love. The power she discovered in herself. She remembers Rhaego, the love she felt as he grew within her and the pain she felt Jorah told her he never lived. 

She remembers Irri and Rakharo, their loyal faces until the end. She misses them and the way they took care of her. They died for her. 

She remembers Ser Barristan and how he used to tell her tales of her long lost family, the way he smiled at her, how he treated her like a daugther. He truly believed in her. He died for her. 

She remembers Meereen and for the first time she thinks of that place as her home. 

She remembers Viserion and Rhaegal, her children and that is the worst pain she ever felt, losing them. What kind of a mother was she? She mothered four children in this life and three of them are dead before her. Weren't children supposed to outlive their parents? At least Drogon is still alive, her heart is happy that he's going to be here long after she's gone. He's the only one she never failed. 

She remembers Ser Jorah, his love and his betrayal. His undying loyalty. He died for her. She would give anything to bring him back. To hear his kind words. 

She remembers Tyrion and how she believed in him, how she trusted him and she's dying for it now. 

She remembers Varys. The smell of his ashes and she's glad for that now, at least. 

She remembers the Starks. Their betrayal, their lack of trust. The way they took and took and took and never gave anything back. The way they blamed it all on her when there was nothing to blame. It doesn't hurt anymore, it's a bitter feeling. 

She remembers her Dothraki and her Unsullied. She's greatful for them. She loves them more than life. 

She remembers her allies. Yara, Theon, Ollena. She's thankful for their faith. She welcomes that feeling. 

She remembers Grey Worm. Her most trusted and loyal soldier. By his hands she would never know betrayal, it calms her heart knowing he would never turn his back on her, doesn't matter what she does, she knows he would be at her side. She loves him. She hopes for a happy life for him. She wanted to give him that. It makes her sad that she won't get the chance. 

Missandei. She remembers Missandei. Her beautiful face, her soft hair, her warm smile. Everything about her was kind and pure, beautiful and strong. Missandei was the first person she truly trusted in her life. She was the first one to see her at mornings and most of times, the last one to see her at nights. She remembers the days they spend talking like girls, the way they did each other's hair. She remembers living in Meereen and going to the tailors to make dresses and picking the same ones with different colors, then laughing about it. She remembers the warm love Missandei brought her. It hurts and it cures. She wants to meet Missandei again. 

At last, she looks and sees Jon's face. She remembers their love, the shared feelings and the lovemaking. The soft words, the way they talked quietly into the nights, sharing their deepest secrets and fondest memories. She remembers how she felt when with him. She doesn't think she ever loved someone this fully before. It warmed her. She has been so happy by his side and during the morning hours she thought she could have everything with him. She thought she could get her throne and still have his love. She remember how he swore himself to her. How he said his heart was hers. The way he used to whisper _i love you's_ in her skin. She wanted to give him a children, even  _though_ she knew she never would. It's all gone know. And she  _knows now_ that his love was nothing but another lie that man told her. She understands everything. Looking at his eyes for the last time she knows the circle closed as it began.

She closes her eyes. 

 

 

 

 

_the ones who'd been gone for so very long_

  
_she couldn't remember their names_

 

_they spun her around on the damp old stones_

  
_spun away all her sorrow and pain_

 

_and she never wanted to leave, never wanted to leave_

  
_never wanted to leave, never wanted to leave_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so im brazilian and english is not my first language, also this work has not been beta'd or anything. work with me and ignore the small mistakes i guess


	2. remembrance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> who could ever leave me, darling? 
> 
> but who could stay?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WE GONNA PRETEND OUTSIDERS DONT DIE IN NAATH OK

_Combat, I'm ready for combat_

 

_I_ _say I don't want that, but what if I do?_

  
_'Cause cruelty wins in the movies_

  
_I've got a hundred thrown-out speeches I almost said to you_

 

_Easy they come, easy they go_

  
_I jump from the train, I ride off alone_

  
_I never grew up, it's getting so old_

  
_Help me hold onto you_

 

_I've been the archer_

  
_I've been the prey_

  
_Who could ever leave me, darling?_

  
_But who could stay?_

 

 

* * *

_4 years later_

 She would be a liar if she said she didn't think about _him_. She does it all the time. She learned how to separate good and bad thoughts. Most of times, she remembers the loving and the way he smiled with his eyes, but when she sleeps she mostly remembers the look in his those same eyes in her last moments. And when she wakes up, she loves to see grey eyes reflecting back at her, but those belong to someone else. 

She never forgets anything anymore. Kinvara couldn't say if it was a gift or a curse. Dany remembers every detail of every moment of her life with so much more clarity than when she was alive the first time. 

Her life is good now, it's so good she can ignore the ache in her chest scar and the empty space in her heart that used to belong to her dead children. Sitting bellow a lemon tree outside her house in Naath, she opens her eyes when she hears the laugh of a child. Her child. Smiling, she looks up to see Grey Worm holding hands with Rhaella, both of them laughing. It's a wonderful sight, she thinks. When they are close, Rhaella runs up and settles in her lap, to sleep in the sun, like they always do. Grey Worm sits besides her cutting a lemon so he could eat, he looks happier now, she thinks it's Rhaella effect on both of them. Life is good. 

She remembers when she came back to life, lying in a cold table, Kinvara with her hands on her stomach. Dany thinks it's good she didn't know she was pregnant when she died, if she known Jon killed her daughter, she would die again from the pain. But Kinvara says the God was good, he brought her and her daughter back, and for that she was greatful. Until she was told Drogon had perished to bring her back, she almost couldn't bear the thought. She asked Kinvara how could she raise a child when she wasn't a true mother, after all, she had 4 children, all 4 died before her. What kind of mother was she? 

She spent days just walking around Volantis, not knowing where to go. Or what to do. She had no one. Nothing. Until he came for her. When she say a ship arriving at the port, the Targaryen sigil almost wiped out. She ran so fast towards him when she saw Grey Worm come out, that she didn't remember they never hugged before, and she cried in his armor. He still wore his armor and his dragon pin, when she noticed it, she cried harder. 

When she had calmed down, she, Grey Worm and some of the Unsullied who were on the ship settled down to talk, he told her everything, cried apologizing. She held his hand. He and her daughter were all she had left. She could survive. They could survive. 

She gave birth on the ship on the way to Naath. One Dothraki maid took her daughter off her body while Grey Worm held her hand. She held her daughter after, when she said her name would be Rhaella. Grey Worm cried, she cried with him. She would never forget, she knew. 

When they arrived in Naath, she asked Grey Worm to cut off her braids. Each one that was cut off meant one battle loss. One for Missandei. One for Jorah. One for Viserion, Dragon and Rhaegal. _One for Jon._ When he was done, her hair was boy-style. She liked, and he smiled at her meaning he liked it too. She would let it grow again, with new wins, in her new life. 

So they settled, the rest of the Unsullied and Dothraki mixing with the Naathis while she and Grey Worm build a home. She planted a lemon tree outside, he painted the door red. He found a fishing job and she watched the smaller kids and told them stories. Of dragons. They were worth remembering. 

As the years went by, Rhaella grew, and with new feature, Dany could see more and more of her father. Even with the silver hair, the grey eyes were strong. She liked it. While feeding, her daughter like to mess with the tips of her growing hair, just like used to while sleeping. She remembered the love. 

One day, while walking the beach, waching Rhaella play in the water, she saw someone coming at her. 

And she remembered that face. And those grey eyes starring back at her told Dany he remembered it too. And that terrified her.

 

_'Cause they see right through me_

  
_They see right through me_

  
_They see right through_

  
_Can you see right through me?_

  
_They see right through_

  
_They see right through me_

  
_I see right through me_

  
_I see right through me_

 

_All the king's horses, all the king's men_

  
_Couldn't put me together again_

  
_'Cause all of my enemies started out friends_

  
_Help me hold onto you_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yall i got this idea and ITS SHITTY as hell  
> and i'm NOT a writer like not at all AND my first language isn't english so its bound to have errors. bear w me 
> 
> duo to the mess the freaking discord and all those disgusting sexist people have caused on the tag. imma moderate comments if there are any.
> 
> HI  
> i need someone to beta'd my next chapter because i plan on doing something longer, if someone has the time, to at least read it throught to find gramar mistakes, hit me up on dms at twitter @dcaenerys or at tumblr missanderys.tumblr.com


	3. forgiveness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> my love was as cruel as the cities I lived in

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry for this chapter, its not what i wanted to do at all, but while sitting here to write it i found it that even tho i read enough fics where dany forgives jon for murdering her and still gets together with him and even tho i love them very much and i re-read it from time to time, i can't be the one to write such thing. i just can't find in myself to do so. perharps she can forgive him for it but i can't see how she would be romantic with him again and that hurts me. 
> 
> anyways im really sorry for this, even tho i couldnt write what i wanted i didnt want to leave this unfinished since its my first and last work on ao3 ever, don't murder me

_My love was as cruel as the cities I lived in_

  
_Everyone looked worse in the light_

  
_There are so many lines that I've crossed, unforgiven_

  
_I'll tell you truth, but never, "Goodbye"_

_(...)_

_Maybe you ran with the wolves and refused to settle down_

  
_Maybe I've stormed out of every single room in this town_

  
_Threw out our cloaks and our daggers because it's_

_morning now_

  
_It's brighter now, now_

 

He looked the same, Dany decided. The same and so different. It's been 3 weeks since he arrived in Naath now, it's hard to look at him, still. 

He sometimes sits by the lemon tree and watches her play with Rhaella, it's unsettleting. He is what she calls considerate, he rarely talks to her but he likes watching. She's unsettled by his presence, she can't lie. And she's not the only one. 

Grey Worm got desperate when he saw Jon at the beach, she remembers screaming for him after the shock of seeing Jon passed, she screamed until he came and saw her with Rhaella on her arms and tears on her face. He was ready to fight, but she didn't want to make him do it, not now, not after years of peace, not after years of him never having to kill anyone for her. It wasn't right. So she told Grey to let him be, let him live. 

For months, he settled on a house far way from hers, maybe in a way to show her he didn't intend on disturbing her peace. She wanted to tell him it was too late, he had alredy destroyed her heart and damadged her safety again. But just the act of talking to him was too much for her to handle, she can deal with him in the island but she can't bear to look at him for too long. 

Rhaella runs free at the garden, picking up flowers, laying around in the grass. She loves nature, and she loves the buttleflies too. Missandei would've loved playing around with her, they'd get along as if they were sisters. That brings a smile to her face, still smiling she looks around and sees Jon watching her, he's smiling too. But different from her, his is a sad smile. She knows she has to talk to him, to settle limits, see if they could live together without her feeling this vunerable, see if him going back to Westeros is a possibility, she naively hopes so. Maybe it's cruel to want to send him away when Rhaella is also his child, but it was cruel of him to take her love and her trust and stab her in the heart with it. They're both cruel people, she realizes. 

Taking a deep breathe, she walks the steps to him. He looks scared and small when she looks down at him, who is sitting down and looking up at her. 

"Jon Snow", she says, it's been so long since she has said these two names. Now it doesn't carry the love it once did. She knows he realizes it too, because his face falls and his eyes water. "We need to talk", he steadies himself.

"Aye. We do", he gets up and now they are face to face. "Maybe we can do it tonight after supper. I can go to your house after Rhaella is down to sleep" 

"No", she says, final. "We can meet in your house. It's safer for me and for Rhaella" he nods.

“Ok then. I’ll wait for you.”, she doesn’t know what to say so she nods, turns and walks back to her daughter. 

Later, after she fed and put Rhaella to bed and explained to Grey Worm she needed him to watch over her so she could talk to Jon Snow, not without him protesting that she shouldn’t go alone and that she couldn’t trust him, she assured him she would be fine and he said fine and hand over a dagger to her, the weight heavy on her hand, she is now leaving the quiet house in a fast walk to his house, she sees he’s sitting outside, waiting for her, most likely. That unsettles her more. They’re alone. After years, after everything that has happened. They’re alone and she can admit she’s terrified of it. Of what he could do to her. But she has to be brave and strong.

“Hi”, he says, voice low and small. It doesn’t suit him, this sad aurea.

“Jon”, she greets and waits until he has opened his door so he could walk in first and then she let herself enter his space. It smells like flowers, she notes.

“I don’t know what to say”, he says and looks down, his hands can’t seem to stop shaking.

“I imagine not.”, she responds. “Talking to someone you killed is hard” his head shots up at hearing that and she can see the wet mark in his face.

“I’m so sorry, Dany. I never wanted that to happen. I’ve regreted every since”, he says, sobbing, trying to step towards her.

“Don’t come closer”, she says taking out the dagger Grey Worm gave to her and poiting at him, fear taking over. “And don’t call me Dany. I’m not that person anymore”

They stare at each other for what it feels like hours, she looks away when she can't handle his deep grey eyes starring at her anymore, but soon steels herself and looks back. They have to talk. There's no other way. She has to fix this. She died once, she can't let him kill her again. 

So hours later, when she screamed at him and he cried at her feet, when they talked. They could finally say they reached a compromise. He begged her to let him stay at Naath, she let him. He begged her to let him know Rhaella, she couldn't. So they decided that he could watch Rhaella from afar until she completed 15 namedays. On her 15th nameday, he could introduce himself as her father and tell her the whole story of what happened and Rhaella would be the one to make a decision. She would be the one to choose if he could stay on her life or not. And consequentely, Rhaella would also choose if Dany would still be on her life after she leans what her mother did on Kings Landing on that faithful afternoon. Dany calmed herself, she had more than 10 years to come to terms with it. She could do it. She alredy has more than she could ask for. 

* * *

_13 years later_

They created a routine during the years, in the beggining she was wary of him and his intentions, Grey Worm too, he loves Rhaella too much to trust Jon and she understands, trust isn't something that comes easy and it's even harder after such betrayal,

She still loves Jon and she thinks he loves her, sees in his eyes now. But she can't get there again, she thinks that part of her, the one that allows herself to be vunerable and that open to someone else is dead and she can't bring that back and as the years passed by, she thinks it's fine. She accepts it, she's so happy in her life that she doesn't bring herself to care. 

She thinks Jon accepts it too, as the years passed she let him in more, she thinks he understood that she can't be in a romantic setting again with him, but she finds in him a partner for hard times, and she treasures it. 

Today, as they sit bellow the lemon tree, he holds her hand and she lets him. Today is the day. The day they will tell Rhaella the truth, to tell her Jon is her father and let her decide the faith of their family. As they sit there, thinking about what is going to happen, Jon makes her a promise, that he'll never let her go ahead in life alone, and that gives her hope for the future. 

She's going to be fine. They are going to be fine. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so sorry for whoever read this lmfao i've never wrote dialogue before, as i said this story is just me thinking about stuff on dany's ending and it baffles me people think of it as a full fic, lol but i thank everyone who shared love on it anyways, it means a lot. y'all lovely. if u wanna chat send me a message on twitter @missandcei or hit me on tumblr missanderys.tumblr.com. 
> 
> i'd like to bring up four points; 
> 
> 1\. the state of this tag IS UGLY! i've been in many fandoms and i've read fics for most of them, (yessss i'm a full grown woman who deals with depression by focusing on fictional characters, judge me) never before in my life i've come across one like this, so full of sexist misogynists disgusting pieces of shit. some of the comments i've read here are just........too much. some of my friends decided to stop writing because of all that happened here. people actually have the nerves to say stuff like " wow yall dont know how to write men" lmfao dude, go watch the show then, that's all made for you. let me tell yall something: writing men "correctly" is not that important, men are not downplayed or mistreatread in stories because they're men, they don't suffer from gender inequality therefor it's not a really important topic, especially white men in fiction. they don't carry tropes like infertil women goes mad, woman in power goes mad, gender violence, miscarriage, sextoy, revenge porn, revenge rape, and many others tropes you will find in many stories in pop culture regarding woman because those are stuff created to humiliate and spread stereotypes about woman even in literature so don't ever come at me saying shit about "oh this poor man, you didnt write him correctly hes too MACHO MAN to ever raise a child of someone else or to still love a woman after years HOW DARE YOU NOT PUT HIM WITH ANOTHER 68184 WOMAN WHEN DANY SLEEP WITH DAARIO" imma just take you as another trash, piece of shit misogynist, sexist incel and imma keep going on w my life knowing its that type of people that it will end this tag sooner. 
> 
> 2\. about jonerys and sexual experiences, which is apparently a open wound in many incels here: jon is the kind of character who only gets intimate with people he's in love with, so yeah, it makes totally sense that he would have less sex partners than dany and it's also mentioned that he thinks his life is over after she dies, so don't come at me saying he would move on, yeah he actually wouldn't. dany on the other hand learnt how to use her sexuality at a very young age as a way to protect herself and have agency, when she took the lead on her sexual life with drogo after he raped her for months, it was to protect herself, when she goes for daario she makes sure she is the one in charge, sex to her isn't at all connected to love, it's about STAYING SAFE and controlling her desires and the ambient around her. 
> 
> 3\. an opnion I HAVE THAT NO ONE ELSE IS OBLIGATED TO SHARE: i hate when fics give jon abilities or stuff that are special and essencial for daenerys' arc (being unburnt, ability to hatch dragons, a narrative where her armies worship him the way they worship her) sorry to tell y'all but that wouldn't ever happen. first that being unburnt isnt even a targaryen thing, it's a ONLY DAENERYS THING, and sorry to bustle the bubble, but her armies would never serve anyone else the way they do to her, it's unrealistic and a bit offensive to try and push this narrative. let's get one thing clear: the dothraki follow her because she has proven to be the stallion who mounts the world and the unsullied follow her because shes the breaker of chains. either way, THAT'S ONLY MY OPNION, and i wanted it to get out there, no one has to share and everyone can keep writing their fics the way they want to because i'm no ones momma and i can't tell no one what to do. don't take this personal, this isn't a shade to anyone who writes such things, i even like to read most of them, this is for the people who say "why there's a difference between dany and jon", well because they are differente characters and daenerys' things are HERS ALONE. there will always be a difference between them. 
> 
> 4\. anygays, stan daenerys stormborn of house targaryen, first of her name, the breaker of chains, queen of meereen, khaleesi of the great grass sea, mother of dragons, queen of the andals, the rhoynar and the first men, lady of dragonstone, queen regent of the seven kindgoms, the younger, more beautiful queen, the princess that was promised, the stallion who mounts the world, the slayer of warlocks, the bride of fire, the blood of old valyria, missandei of naath and grey worm (book jon too)

**Author's Note:**

> i must say, i've never seen such petty, bitter, ungreatful, sexist, terrible fandom like ao3 jonerys one, specially jon stans. seems like they spend their days between masturbating and calling daenerys a whore in fanfiction comments, they also enjoy bashing fics on the tag because they don't like the story and they don't know how to scroll down the page like normal human beings.


End file.
